Cabrera Sent to Yankees [This May Also Be a Parody]

Okay, I can understand the Burnett-for-beans trade in light of AJ's contract situation, but I absolutely have a problem with this move. The Marlins should have spared no expense in signing Miguel Cabrera to a long term contract, the Venezualan is a true star in the making; furthermore, Florida still had him for peanuts for another two or three years.

The MLB press release is below.

MIAMI - General Manager Larry Beinfest continued his overhaul of the Florida Marlins today when the commissioner's office reported the authorization of a trade between Florida and the Yankees. The trade sends the Marlins' young outfielder, Miguel Cabrera, to the New York Yankees in exchange for a mystery box. Yankees manager Brian Cashman said, "We knew we needed to make the Yankees a younger team. So, we offered Beinfest his choice of $40 million in cash, or what's-in-the-box." After much speculation and debate in the Marlins' front office, Beinfest said, "Miguel Cabrera is an immensely talented young slugger. While the money was tempting, we realized that the box could be anything. Why, it could even be an immensely talented young slugger! I think we made the wise choice."

Argh. The rebuilding continues.

A.J. Burnett Traded [This May Be a Parody]

The rumors have been spreading throughout the offseason, so I suppose this can't be seen as much of a surprise. I've pasted the Miami Herald report below.

MIAMI - The Florida Marlins announced today that flamethrower A.J. Burnett has been traded to the Arizona Diamondbacks in exchange for a sack of magic beans. The Diamondbacks had been shopping around for a young pitcher ever since a trade sent Randy Johnson to the Yankees. Marlins general manager Larry Beinfest commented, "We're very happy about this move, and we feel that all parties benefitted. The Diamondbacks assured us that upon planting the beans, a pitching tree will sprout, and young pitchers like AJ will literally grow on it." Burnett was surprised when he was contacted concerning the trade, saying "A sack of magic beans? I guess that's an improvement over trading their only left-handed slugger for a catcher universally known to collapse after the all-star break."

While I'm willing to see what the beans can do during spring training, I'm a little skeptical of this move. I'd rather the Marlins invest their resources to sign a stud like AJ to at least a three years contract while the rest of the team is young and they're still considered contenders in the NL East. What's even more surprising is the rumor that the beans are getting 4 years/$20 mil.